After twenty-plus years of working with distressed married couples, I thought I’d try to distill some key issues I have encountered. This is part II of that series. For the sake of brevity and clarity, I’ve gathered my comments into myths and truths. Here are the next three … iv) Myth: With a 50% divorce… Continue reading Marriage Morsels II (from the Counseling Office)
After twenty-plus years of working with distressed married couples, I thought I’d try to distill some key elements I've encountered during sessions of which I've been privileged to be part. This is the first part of a three part series. i) Myth: Marriage is just about the two of us. When I meet with a… Continue reading Marriage Morsels I (from the Counseling Office)
I have to share an awesome article before this day gets away from me. Trim the stems of the roses, sign the cards, add a few more tunes to your sappy playlist, light the candles -- but please don’t miss this gem of an article by Molly Carman of FRC ... More Than Romance Blessings… Continue reading Your Valentine
(Something ‘bout a woman) I am Leutenant Günter Weber, with the Grenadiers at Lixouri. I saw your party, and I thought that I would come and introduce myself. Ah, said Carlo, winking, you wanted to come and look at the women. It is no such thing, lied Weber stiffly. Naturally one has seen such things… Continue reading An Attraction Like No Other
Given the profound and far-reaching election news this past week, I was hoping to write a short piece that underlined America's clear repudiation of Wokeism, allowing the family of faith a temporary and needed respite from the incessant attacks these past four years. While struggling with the right words, I happened upon this articulate piece… Continue reading Morning in America, Again
How do you spice up your marriage? Years and years ago, I had an older friend, Harry, who became a bit of a mentor. We’d met through our respective consulting businesses. He’d been around the block more times than I had, and he possessed something I lacked -- wisdom. Harry had a way of distilling… Continue reading The Thursday Jar
No other success can compensate for failure in the home." J. E. McCulloch After discovering I work with distressed couples, people sometimes ask me what I consider the leading cause of marital breakdown. Great question. I’m sure every counsellor or therapist has an opinion on this. Get ten of us in a room, and you’ll… Continue reading Who’s Orbiting Who?
How emotionally connected are you to your husband or wife? To help answer this important question, I’m reposting a popular article from 2019, hoping it will be beneficial today for your marriage. Sometimes timing is everything. Enjoy. + + + + + + + I met my wife, Melissa, on a cycling trip on the… Continue reading Sustainable Marriage
I'm noticing a growing trend of wives "throwing in the towel", leaving passive husbands. Initially, I was shocked by what I thought I was seeing: women, married* to nice, easy-going guys, were bailing on their marriages. Believers and non-believers alike. At first, it didn’t make sense. But then it did. Every aspect of the family… Continue reading Up the Down Escalator
June remains the most popular month of the year for weddings. To honour God’s amazing design for gender, marriage and healthy sexuality, I'm reposting an article from two and a half years ago, celebrating gender uniqueness. What better month to do that? Call me crazy, but one of the ways I like to express my… Continue reading Bigger Than Pronouns … Again
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3 A week or so before our wedding, Melissa moved 700 miles south, giving up her cool Chicago apartment and a fun group of close friends. The day we wed at a small Moravian church in rural North… Continue reading What She Gave Up
Helping them change their marriage was like untangling a ball of yarn that had been played with by a mischievous cat for a very long time." Napier & Whitaker -- The Family Crucible In 1943, American psychologist, Abraham Maslow, published a paper entitled, “A Theory of Human Motivation”. In it he described a hierarchy of… Continue reading A Worthwhile Climb
I’d do almost anything to help save or strengthen a marriage. From my experience, most distressed husbands and wives who seek marital therapy confess communication challenges. It’s pretty much ubiquitous. All of us are broken, and our brokenness has no better stage upon which to play than in a marriage. Naturally, men and women who… Continue reading Round and Round the Barn
My wife, Melissa, is a fabulous dancer. In describing what I do on the dance floor, she probably wouldn't use that same adjective. But we have fun. I liken the emotional life of a married couple to a "dance" -- ideally with a husband leading his wife, moving in unison around the floor. When it’s done… Continue reading You Make Me Feel Like Dancing
Most families treasure their traditions. Some even pass them down from generation to generation. At our house, one of our traditions is designed to create tension and suspense in my wife, Melissa. Maybe even some anxiety. Whenever Melissa travels out of town, my son and daughters and I conspire to do something that Melissa would… Continue reading Coming Home
At one time, I thought I’d written the book on romance. I packed picnic baskets, composed poetry, cooked meals extracted from Food & Wine magazine, spent hours in greeting card shops, arranged flowers, lit fires, collected bronzes and vintage wines, preferred "chick-flicks" to “blow-‘em-ups", and I knew all the best city vantage points and restaurants.… Continue reading As Time Goes By
When I founded a marriage and family organisation while still at seminary, I struggled with what to name it. Many of the cool biblical phrases were already taken. A colleague with Family Life suggested a variation on a wedding vow, “Til death do us Partington”. That didn’t fly. Around that same time I discovered the… Continue reading Building Your Dream Home
I met my wife, Melissa, on a cycling trip on the Oregon coast. I obviously caught her by surprise on our group’s last night together at a Portland restaurant, when I asked for her number. I used some line that made her smile. Before the evening was out, she shared her info, and so we… Continue reading Sustainable Marriage
Peace in the Home 